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Friday, May 31, 2013

My Breakup: Advice Please?

"I hope someday he feels what its like to have his heart stop like that, when some girl rips it out and throws it on the ground, 'cos if he feels what it's like to have his heart broken to pieces, maybe then he'll quit his stomping on my shards....my broken heart."

Lyrics for a new song I'm writing....about my ex. So I thought everything was going fine last Friday, but when I got to band, his friend came up to me and said "Jimmy-" ex boyfriend's code name "-wants to break up with you because you get mad at him too much." and then the kid walked away. This all happened mere hours before a huge banquet that I'd been planning for MONTHS on going to with him. Today, exactly one week later, I was in band again practicing my solo for a solo contest I have tomorrow. Jimmy walked up out of nowhere and stole my sheet music and made me chase after him for it. Unfortunately, Jimmy is seven inches taller than me and he held it up out of my reach and made me jump for it like the cruel heartless jerk that he is. He told me he wasn't going to give me my music until I had a talk with him. This upset me. I did talk to him though because I'd been praying for a situation like this to occur all week strangely enough (this whole experience has helped me grow closer to God). I told him how confused I was that I didn't know how I was supposed to react or how I was supposed to feel about him. He asked me if I was mad at him and I told him I wasn't sure but I thought it was a terrible thing to do, dumping a girl on the same day as the ____ grade banquet (something I will not reveal to you for privacy purposes). He told me he wanted to ask me something but couldn't get it out and couldn't seem to ask it. We talked the whole rest of the class period, because he gave me my music back, but was like "this is not over." The girls that I know pretty well but don't hang out with much were all crowded by the director's stand making broken heart signs while all of the dumb idiotic boys that Jimmy is friends with were flashing him the thumbs up. The bell rang eventually and he got out of asking me whatever it was. Later on, I was texting my friend Alyss (pronounced "Alice" another code name) and she asked me if I wanted to know what he was gonna ask. She made me promise not to tell him she told me. Apparently, he was going to ask if I still liked him and was hoping I'd say "no" because that would be easier on him. I told her "I wouldn't have answered anyway, then, because the answer is yes," and she said, "I know." I asked her if she told him that and she said she couldn't remember but that whatever she said she also said that at this point I probably couldn't care less if it was easier on him or not. Which is true. I'm just so confused about the whole situation and how I'm supposed to feel. Before he was my boyfriend, he was like a brother to me....I don't want to lose our friendship. Help?


I guess my whole thing is that the last thing I said to him before he dumped me was that I love him. And it wasn't a lie. That's honestly how confused I feel.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Long Time No See

Why, hello there, faithful viewers. Long time no see. So I would like to inform you that I may be either starting a new blog or revving this one up a bit. As you may know, I am a writer. So...I'd like to start posting excerpts. Also, life has become a little bit more...interesting....since we've last met. So, I may begin sharing fun adventures from my happy little life. Allow me to introduce you to my crew. I've made new code names.
Luna= me
Mickey= My best friend in the whole wide world who does not go to my school because, sadly, I moved when I was eleven
Hope= Super, super close friend of mine. Practically my sister, best friends with Elizabeth. I've known Hope for about a year and a half now.
Alyss= Another practical sister of mine, best friends with Hope. I've known Elizabeth for about two years now, and been friends with her for one year. She's my writing partner and she's helped me see sides of me that no one else can.
Jimmy= My boyfriend. He's been one of my best friends for about a year, I've known him for nearly two and a half years now. We didn't used to get along too well and we're hitting some rough spots now but we can get through it, I just know it. His best friend is Haleigh.
Ryan= Sky's best friend, Elizabeth's boyfriend, and practically my brother. I've known him for two years now, and he's been my friend for one. He and Elizabeth haven't been going out for too long, but I was there when he asked her out it was super cute. I'd shipped them hard ever since Hope and John started going out.
John= Hope's boyfriend. I've known him for two years but only started to get to know him in January when he and Hope started going out. He's really sweet and he's also like a brother to me. Sky doesn't like him very much...
Ella= Hope's and my project partner. We have almost all of our classes together, she's one of my best friends I've been her friend for two years now.
Gene= I've known her since sixth grade, and she's one of the only five people I hung out with then that I consider a best friend now.
Ginger= My neighbor. She's been with me since I moved here, and that's hard because I know I'm tough to get to know. 
Hopefully that's good. Gotta run. By!